The five tell-tale signs of fake niceness

We all encounter people who seem overly nice, but sometimes, that pleasant demeanour can be deceiving. Fake nice people often hide their true intentions behind a facade of kindness. 

Recognising the signs of such individuals can help you protect yourself from their potentially manipulative behaviour. Here are five signs of fake friendly people, with real-life examples to illustrate each situation.

1 - Overly agreeable behaviour


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One of the most common signs of a fake nice person is overly agreeable behaviour. They often agree with everything you say, even if it contradicts their previous statements. This excessive agreeableness is usually a tactic to gain your trust and approval.

Imagine a coworker who always agrees with your ideas during meetings, even if they have previously voiced different opinions. They might be doing this to appear supportive and likeable, but their lack of genuine stance on any issue can indicate they need to be more truthful about their feelings.

Read more for information on dealing with this behavioural type.

2 - Excessive compliments


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As the saying goes, flattery is like a smiling crocodile. Fake nice people tend to give excessive compliments. While genuine praise is always welcome, an overabundance of compliments can feel insincere and manipulative. These individuals often use flattery to get something from you or to put you off guard.

A friend who constantly praises your appearance, intelligence, and accomplishments might seem supportive. However, if these compliments are excessive and not tied to specific actions or achievements, they might use flattery to win your favour or mask their true intentions.

Oftentimes, these "compliments" feel back-handed. Consider reading more about how you can address 

3 - Inconsistent actions


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Another hallmark of fake nice people is the inconsistency between their words and actions. They might make promises or express intentions that they fail to follow through on. This discrepancy often reveals their lack of genuine commitment or sincerity.

A colleague who promises to help you with a project but consistently fails to deliver or shows up late without valid reasons is displaying inconsistent behaviour. Their unreliability undermined their initial niceness, indicating that their kindness might not be genuine.

This behaviour needs to be addressed as quickly as possible. Consider these tips to help you manage these types of people.

4 - Lack of genuine interest



Disingenuous people have a knack for coming across as exactly that: fake, facetious, and generally approaching conversations in bad faith. They may ask how you are but need to listen to your response or remember important details about your life. Their niceness is often superficial and self-serving.

A friend who always greets you warmly and asks about your day but never seems to listen to your answers or remember any details from previous conversations is likely not genuinely interested in you. They might maintain a polite facade to appear friendly without investing real emotional energy in the relationship.

This sort of person is genuinely, no pun intended, a pain to deal with. Read more about how to deal with people who generally exhibit this behaviour.

5 - Manipulative tactics


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Manipulative tactics are a clear sign of fake niceness. These individuals might use their kindness to get what they want from others. They often manipulate situations to their advantage while maintaining an appearance of benevolence.

A neighbour who frequently offers to help with small tasks but then expects you to do larger favours in return is displaying manipulative behaviour. Their initial acts of kindness are strategically placed to create a sense of obligation, making it difficult for you to refuse their later requests.

Manipulation can take several different forms. Identifying and calling out these behaviours can help you build healthier relationships. 

Identifying fake nice people can be challenging, especially when their behaviour is subtle and seemingly well-intentioned. However, trust your instincts and pay attention to the consistency and sincerity of people's actions to discern genuine kindness from deceptive niceness.

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